Saturday, October 1, 2016

Pull Your Pork!

What's happening bloggers and friends? We have something special up our sleeves today! We are going to be pulling our pork. By that, we mean whipping out our handy dandy crock pot and slapping a plump beef rump in that bad boy, cooking it for 8 hours, stabbing it with a couple forks, and ripping it to shreds. Sounds like fun, right? We'd say so! If you aren't a fan of pulled pork or coleslaw, that's a damn shame. The two pair wonderfully together, especially on Hawaiian sweet rolls. We couldn't find any of those little buggers, so we settled (unhappily, FYI) for normal bread rolls. Those weren't quite as delicious as we were looking for, but c'est la vie. Grab your weapons of choice and meet us in the kitchen!

Dr. "Pull Your Pork" Sandwiches
Yields Roughly 12 Servings

Things You Seriously Need:

  • 4.5 Lbs Pork Butt
  • 1 Can Dr. Pepper
  • Sweet Baby Ray's BBQ Sauce
  • 1.5 White Onions, chopped
  • Salt, to taste
  • Pepper, to taste
  • Garlic Powder, to taste
  • Dinner Rolls of choice
  • Pre-packages Cole Slaw
  • Mayo
  • Vinegar
  • Sugar

Things You Might Consider Grabbing:

  • Crock Pot
  • Gloves (If You're the Germ Avoiding Kind of Person)
  • A Big Bowl
  • Stirring Utensil of Sorts
  • Patience

  1. Grab your plump, juicy meat and slap that bad boy on a cutting board.
  2. With your fingers, massage the garlic powder, salt, and pepper in that delicious, moist meat. Add the seasonings to your liking, because truth be told, we didn't measure anything. It's all about preference.
  3. Don't be afraid of it. It won't bite, much.
  4. Once you've adequately made finger massaging love to your meat, throw that plump butt into the crock pot, dump in the Dr. Pepper, and turn it onto low, then cook low and slow for 8 hours. If you get frantic like Mandie did, you can turn it on to high. That could possibly make your meat even more tender and juicy, just saying. Forget about that shit for 8 hours. Drink some wine. Do yo thang.
  5. In the meantime, whip out that gigantic bowl we mentioned earlier. 
  6. Rip that bag of Cole Slaw open like you were hunting for a prize in a Cracker Jack box!
  7. Dump it into the bowl along with about 3 hearty spoonfuls on mayo. If you like your slaw extra creamy, add more. We did.
  8. Mix, mix, mix. You are officially a mixer, ta-da!
  9. Now flavor with sugar until it resembles Willy Wonka's candy factory.
  10. Once it's to your liking, add a splash on vinegar, literally. It's just to give a kick in your mouth...
  11. As soon as the Cole Slaw is to your liking, pop a lid on it and call it a day!

  1. Once your meat is plumped up, juicy, and you've managed to go psycho on it and shred it to itty bitty pieces, it's ready to be pieced together with it's fellow foods.
  2. Squirt some of that saucy BBQ goodness goodness onto your meat and mix that shit well.
  3. Place a heaping helping of your Dr. Pepper pulled pork onto those cloud-like rolls, then dump a gigantic spoonful of Cole Slaw onto that motherfu-- Oops. Perhaps we won't use that word on this blog...
  4. Top with the other half of your cloud bun and relish in this awesome meal you've managed to make.
  5. Serve with your favorite flavored chips and enjoy!

Thanks for being a dirty birdy with us in the kitchen! Come back for even more adult humor and fun recipes later in the week. For now, go STUFF YOUR FACE!